Sunday 25 September 2016

10 Things you should never say to a bride-to-be (according to a bride-to-be)

Published 29/10/2015 | 11:35

Weddings have a fantastic way of uniting people.

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Yet in the midst of all the small talk that inevitably leads up to the main event, and throughout all of those ‘my haven’t you grown,’ or ‘won’t you make a beautiful bride’ style conversations, faux pas can reign supreme in what are often vulnerable times. Here are a few pointers on what the bride-to-be in your life definitely does not want to hear right now:

 

1. "What size are you hoping to be by the wedding?"

This is the next best thing to asking a woman, who is not actually pregnant when she is due - do NOT go there. You may have been on a bridal fitness buzz ahead of your own nuptials, but sheddin’ for the weddin’ may not have even crossed her mind. Bridal shop assistants, we're looking at you!

 

2. "Well at our wedding we had..."

A phrase sure to have the hair on the back of every bride’s neck standing to attention; you may be out the other side and think that all weddings are the same, but she is still basking in the belief that hers will be unlike any other.

 

3. "Oh that is bad luck..."

Whether it’s seeing your other half on the morning of the wedding, having green bridesmaids dresses or walking side by side down the aisle before you are married; there is a superstition for perhaps every moment of one’s wedding day. Do your bride a favour and don’t add to the list.

 

4. "You’re not inviting her are you?"

If you have a problem with someone being on the guest list then here’s a wonderful idea - don’t invite them to your wedding. Alas, THIS IS NOT YOUR WEDDING. 

 

5. "You have to invite her, she half reared you..."

The guest list can get very cut throat very fast, but it generally gets a little less rigid as things progress. One thing your bride definitely does not need at this point is additional pressure; gentle persuasion and a little patience is the name of the game.

 

6. "I was worried you might be left on the shelf"

This is tantamount to making quips about her always being the bridesmaid and now FINALLY the bride...just don’t. You may think you are hilarious, she most likely will not.

 

7. "Another good feminist lost to patriarchy"

Please...this topic is for a lively, private debate with your friend after a couple of glasses of wine some night. This is not a discussion for when your bride is already up to her eyeballs trying to figure out which table to seat you at, where you'll be least likely to start an argument during the reception dinner.

 

8. "Sorry that is not in the budget..."

Those few little extras may be costing another grand or so, but at this point, they may also be the only things keeping your bride sane. Do yourself a favour, if it is totally out of the question, break it to her gently, not when she’s attempting her best poker face while haggling with the florist over prices.

 

9. "So when are you planning to start a family?"

Hold it right there...Your nearest and dearest may have finally decided to tie the knot, but that does not mean they are intent on providing you with enough sprogs for a five aside soccer tournament at the next big family occasion. Swallow those baby making questions and bury that stuff deep down inside please...

 

10. "It will all come together on the day"

Most brides, particularly as the day approaches, need concrete reassurances; vague notions of success will not do anything to stem the ensuing tide of panic. Think foolproof, airtight, military precision and if you have any doubts, lie to her...

Follow Joanna’s blog at https://fit4abride.wordpress.com

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