Friday 21 July 2017

Kirsty Blake Knox: It's trickier getting into Coppers than sitting FROW at Fashion Week

(L-R) Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Foxes, Pixie Geldof, Jessica Hart, Izzy Bizu and Ella Eyre attend the House of Holland runway show during London Fashion Week Spring/Summer collections 2017 on September 17, 2016 in London, United Kingdom. (Photo by Darren Gerrish/Getty Images)
(L-R) Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Foxes, Pixie Geldof, Jessica Hart, Izzy Bizu and Ella Eyre attend the House of Holland runway show during London Fashion Week Spring/Summer collections 2017 on September 17, 2016 in London, United Kingdom. (Photo by Darren Gerrish/Getty Images)
Models present Simone Rocha's creations at her spring/summer catwalk show at London Fashion Week. Photo: Getty Images
Mystical: Designer Olivia Radle with models at New York Fashion Week
A model presents a creation at the House of Holland catwalk show during London Fashion Week Spring/Summer 2017 in London, Britain September 17, 2016. REUTERS/Neil Hall
Paul Costelloe unveiled his new collection at London Fashion Week Picture: Debbie Bragg/Paul Costelloe
Kirsty Blake Knox

Kirsty Blake Knox

It's mid-September and Fashion Week is once again upon us.

Which means expressions like "FROW", "luxe", "investment piece", and "it's the new black/ gothic/ romantic/ insert any random word here" will start doing the rounds.

A model presents a creation at the House of Holland catwalk show during London Fashion Week Spring/Summer 2017 in London, Britain September 17, 2016. REUTERS/Neil Hall
A model presents a creation at the House of Holland catwalk show during London Fashion Week Spring/Summer 2017 in London, Britain September 17, 2016. REUTERS/Neil Hall

There will be lots of people snapchatting and tweeting about how very, very, very busy they are.

Articles will pop up giving out about skinny models. Followed by articles applauding a brave designer who pushed boundaries by asking a woman with cellulite to model his/her threads.

And then a male journalist - who usually writes about cars or sports - will be asked to pen a "hilarious" analysis of one of the more outlandish shows.

"It's like a toilet roll cover!!" he'll say, chortling. "What's the matter - Dunnes not good enough for you?"

Fashion Week is such a weird swirly place filled with hot air and air kisses.

A lot of the people who attend it like to keep the elitist mysticism surrounding it alive.

They talk about "surviving" Fashion Week like it's some sort of Herculean achievement. Or imply that receiving an invite to a show is a mystic honour bestowed upon very few.

But in truth, Fashion Week is just a trade show with notions.

So I am here to demystify some of the palaver surrounding it.

1). Getting into a show is not a big deal. One year I went to London Fashion Week ticketless and snuck into 15 shows. I wangled my way into Burberry, pretended I was Cheryl Cole's stylist to get a front seat at Henry Holland, and got into a photographer's pit despite possessing no camera. In conclusion, it's harder to get into Coppers on a Saturday night than it is into any shows during Fashion Week.

2). Shows last all of nine minutes. They're over before they've even begun.

3). Very few people who attend Fashion Week are good craic. Actual fashion editors are stressed out of their boxes. Designers and their teams are exhausted and delirious. The rest of the people knocking about are more interested in proving how important they are to have a good time.

4). 90pc of it is waiting around for things to start or end.

However, Fashion Week does have one huge redeeming factor.

Much like the Ploughing Championships or any other trade show, it is top notch for people watching.

So if you love scoping out passers-by - affect an air of superiority, look highly irritated and hop over to London. But remember to chuck on a wide-brimmed velour fedora. All the FROW are wearing them, dahling.

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