Sunday 20 August 2017

Stylewatch: Nuptial Nihilism

Roz Purcell
Roz Purcell

It's wedding season, so here are some rules to survive the wedding fatigue. Attending weddings has become more of a political minefield than planning them.

Invites disqualifying certain shops to prevent overlap with the bridal party are de rigueur, and it is pretty much understood that, as a guest, you may only operate at 60pc attractiveness. Any more than this, and you will be perceived as attempting to overshadow the bride.

With this in mind, rule #1 is no looking nice, keep hair and make-up minimal.

Rule #2, nothing experimental in the style stakes, keep the dress perfunctory and preferably unflattering; and rule #3, nude pumps are mandatory wedding footwear, see Roz Purcell.

NB: Enacting a four-Prosecco minimum should pass the time until there's cake.

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