Sunday 24 September 2017

So over: Gladiator Sandals

Maia Dunphy
Maia Dunphy

We've decided that no one has the feet for them. As with most things body-related, the Irish population is at a genetic disadvantage. Most

of us have to, at some point, come to terms with the fact that we've inherited our mother's feet - and, most likely, her upper arms too.

At best, the gladiator sandal calls up memories of the dreaded Irish-dancing classes. At worst, it makes the feet look like caged animals - angry, swollen creatures of the sea, caught in a fisherman's net. Even on the best of feet, there are the unsightly red strap-marks, and always the unnerving potential for be-bunioned toes to break free from the confines of the gladiator sandal and perhaps - ick - brush off some innocent bystander.

Would-be gladiator sandal wearers, we implore thee: refrain. Unless you're Maia Dunphy, left, who pulls them off. Just.

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