How to win at the dating game
Published 17/12/2010 | 16:20
How many times have you read 'top dating tips' or an article on 'the key to a successful date'. Yeah yeah, we know, dress to impress, be yourself, don't talk about your ex and all that jazz.
Here at TheMeetingPoint.ie we'd like to think that the majority of us are all clued up enough to have this general knowledge anyway. After all, dating isn't rocket science is it?
So instead of dating tips, we've put together a few simple steps for you to remember during and after the important date, to ensure that you enjoy it rather than stress about it. You can thank us later!
Breaking the ice
You may think that this is the scariest part of the date. I mean how will you greet each other? Will you go in for a hug, a quick peck on the cheek, a polite hello and a smile, or a handshake? What will you say to each other? What will your opening line be? Well, fear not.
In some ways the initial moment when you meet your date is the easiest part. After all, you haven't used up any of your conversation yet and you're still in the small talk stage of the date. Small talk's easy, right? We do it all the time.
Whether it's that cute girl from the coffee shop you frequent or the hot guy from accounts that you share the lift with daily. You're already a pro at it so this shouldn't be any different. Simple questions like 'how long did it take you to get here' and 'the weather's horrible today' may seem boring and mundane but you're really just going through the motions. This chit chat simply has you covered while you secretly work out those essential first impressions.
While your date may seem cool, calm and collected, underneath that smouldering demeanour, they are probably just as nervous as you are.
It's only natural to feel this way on a first date. After all, you're meeting with someone that you probably don't know very well, it's just the two of you, and you want to make a good impression.
However, dates are supposed to be fun so you want to be able to enjoy yourself without feeling like a bag of nerves the whole time.
By being honest about your own nerves you will immediately notice how a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. There's no need to go into detail just a simple 'I was a bit nervous on the way to meet you' will do, and it's amazing how simply saying those words will help you to feel a lot more relaxed.
Chances are your date will probably warm to you more after this honesty as they will see the more vulnerable side to you. So don't let those first date nerves reduce you to a gibbering wreck, fess up and tell your date you're nervous, what have you got to lose?
Talk the talk
Talk too much and risk being self-obsessed, don't talk enough and risk that dreaded awkward silence. It's a tough predicament for any singleton to be in, but the general rule is to strike a good balance between listening, talking, asking relevant questions and smiling and nodding in all the right places.
The most important thing is that your conversation is natural, relaxed and has flow. If you ask a question then listen to the answer, don't just wait for your turn to speak.
Don't cut in or interrupt when your date is talking and don't talk over the top of them. It all sounds fairly obvious but on a first date when you are both trying to get your personalities across, there can sometimes be competition.
Essentially the main aim of a date is to determine whether or not you have a connection with the other person after speaking virtually on TheMeetingPoint.ie. Chances are if there is a connection the conversation will flow naturally anyway.
After the date....
So let’s assume the date went well and every moment since has been spent smugly grinning from ear to ear, daydreaming about your future together, while constantly checking your phone to make sure it has adequate amounts of reception. Yes that's right, every spare second since your date has been spent thinking about it (not that you're obsessing), yet you haven't heard from them.
Of course you are waiting to hear from them, I mean why wouldn't you be? You turned on your charm, told all your best stories, and laughed in all the appropriately places. They're bound to call aren't they? Or maybe they are dating other people at the same time to see who they prefer? Maybe the stories you told were boring?
All these post-date doubts are not going to end until you hear from the person themself and this can go one of two ways. To put it bluntly you either hear from them or you don’t. It's as simple as that.
Now of course if you don't hear from them it's going to hurt a bit as you will feel a slight sense of rejection. In the grand scheme of things though, if they haven't called you back, they probably weren't right for you anyway.
Put the date down good dating experience and move on. You're better than that and there are plenty more eligible singles just waiting to be snapped up. Yep that's right, log back onto TheMeetingPoint.ie, maybe give your profile a quick refresh and get back in that saddle. You will probably find that you have to go on a few dates to actually discover what it is that you are looking for!
TheMeetingPoint.ie has thousands of members from all over Ireland, and with features like video profiles, personality profiling and diary entries you’re bound to enjoy becoming part of the online dating world! Register today for free.