How shaky is your marriage?
Rate how often the following situations occur based on the scale of one to three (one for never or almost never; two for once in a while; three for frequently):
Little arguments escalate into ugly fights with accusations, criticisms, name calling or bringing up past hurts.
My partner criticises or belittles my opinions, feelings or desires.
My partner seems to view my words or actions more negatively than I mean them to be.
When we have a problem to solve, it is as if we are on opposite teams.
I hold back from telling my partner what I really think and feel.
I feel lonely in this relationship.
When we argue, one of us withdraws.
That is, doesn't want to talk about it any more, or leaves the scene.
Seven to 11: Green light
Your relationship is probably in good or even great shape.
12 to 16: Yellow light
You need to be cautious. While you may be happy now, your score reveals warning signs. Take action to improve and protect what you have. Spend time to strengthen your relationship now.
17-21: Red light
Stop and think about where the two of you are headed. Your score indicates the presence of patterns that could put your relationship at considerable risk. You may be heading for trouble -- or may be already there.
Adapted from the book Fighting for your Marriage;