Monday 23 January 2017

'For blokes, the number of conquests is a sign of masculinity -- but a real man doesn't use a woman'

Published 03/10/2011 | 05:00

Meath singleton Ferghal McGrath (32) travels the country delivering the message of chastity to secondary school students with Catholic group Pure In Heart.

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And practising what he preaches, he's abstaining from sex until he meets Miss Right.

"Everybody wants to find true love -- but the world tells you it's okay to sleep with everyone along the way. Before I joined Pure In Heart, I wasn't living a chaste life -- I didn't care about anyone or give a damn about a girl's feelings.

"Then after coming back into my faith in my mid-twenties, I went along to one of their prayer groups -- and it just made sense to me.

"These days, virginity is almost a dirty word. But chastity is not some medieval idea of wearing a chastity belt -- it's about love without regrets. I'm not saying that I'm a virgin, I'm not -- but if I could take it back, I would.

"When you're sleeping with someone, you're wrecked with worry about getting them pregnant or being good enough in bed.

"Since I started living a chaste life, dating is totally different. Suddenly, you get to see what the person is really like -- whether they're kind or would make a good mother.

"For blokes, the number of conquests you've had is almost a sign of masculinity -- but a real man doesn't use and abuse a woman. And to be honest, I wouldn't be very happy at the thought of somebody else doing that with my future wife.

"At least in a marriage, you know you're with someone who's got your best interests at heart.

"Years ago, it was men who treated women as notches on their bedpost -- now it's the other way around.

"When you go out, some girls are very forward. There have been times when it's nearly been offered on a plate -- and the temptation to settle can be difficult.

"At the end of the day, though, I have a heart and feelings just like a woman does. My friends slag me off and reckon that pent-up sexual energy will send me over the edge. But my energy is going where it should be going -- searching for the right person. And now I realise that I'm worth the wait, just like she is.

"Orgasm is brilliant, but it's only a fleeting moment -- true happiness lasts a lifetime."

Irish Independent

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