Dear Rosanna: I can't get used to my girlfriend's new breasts
Published 18/09/2013 | 12:30
Q: MY girlfriend had a boob job and, as you can imagine, I was pretty excited about the results. She loved being away on holidays this summer, too, as she thought she looked way better in a bikini. She also thinks it's much easier to buy clothes now that what she has on top fits better with what is below.
I can see that she is a lot happier and confident in herself, and that's great. My problem is with how the boobs feel. To be honest, I much preferred the feel of the real ones. They were way softer.
My girlfriend also doesn't like me squeezing the new ones so much when we're in bed. This isn't something that I think is going to go away. Yet I don't think she would ever go back to what she had.
A: I can understand your excitement and anticipation in waiting for your girlfriend's new boobs to be revealed. But, ultimately, this is invasive surgery, and it's a mistake to assume that they will just be a bigger version of what they originally were.
Implants have been inserted into her body, and it is inevitable that they will change how they feel for you, and how sensitive your touch is for her.
She would have, presumably, been made aware of this during her consultations with the surgeon and decided to go ahead regardless.
The decision to have the surgery was her choice and, as her boyfriend, I really think that it's important to support her decision.
Give her a chance to get used to her new breasts and allow them to settle down as, no doubt, there will be a certain amount of post-op swelling.
My advice is to give it time and to allow your girlfriend to adapt to her new body without putting pressure on her.
Q: I'm very attracted to a man who is eight years my junior -- I'm 28 -- but when I mentioned this to my friends, they all went "Eeeuw!" They're all with men who are in their thirties. They are also at a stage when they're either engaged or looking to be. I met my young man at work and, having spent time with him, I know how grown-up he is for his years. We have a flirty thing going on and I'm wondering whether I should take it to the next level. Or do you think that any relationship will be doomed in the long run?
A: I strongly feel that you need to ignore what those around you are doing and saying, and focus on what you want. There is no point in worrying about what may or may not happen in the future and allow that to impact on your present happiness.
If you feel good about this guy and you get on well, then I don't see the problem in pursuing a relationship.
If a man can date a woman eight years younger, then I don't think that there should be any gender difference in acceptance. Once you're at a similar level, mentally, then that's really what matters most. My one piece of advice, though, is to be aware that when you move into your thirties, you may start thinking about marriage and babies, and it definitely helps when your partner feels the same way.
But enjoy your time now with this guy, take it slowly and see what happens. This is your life -- don't allow other people's opinions to alter your decisions.
Q: I had a one-night stand with a girl I met in a club and I didn't have any condoms, but she had some in her handbag.
We've been texting ever since, and I'm finding myself looking forward to these texts as she is very sweet.
I also enjoyed spending time with her the morning after and, if I'm honest, a lot of the time I just want to get a girl out the door the following morning -- especially if I can't remember her name.
I'm thinking of asking her out but, if a woman is carrying condoms, is she someone I could ever trust in a relationship?
A: I feel that you have developed an unfair opinion of what this girl is really like. You seem to assume that she sleeps around but, as a single woman out on the town hoping to meet a guy, she did the sensible thing by carrying condoms with her.
As was proven by your encounter with her, she was right not to rely on the guy to have the protection.
After all, it shouldn't just be up to the man to think about, because safe sex is a joint responsibility.
If I were you, I would have even more respect for her for taking care of her sexual health, and that is the type of person that is more appealing to date, in my opinion.
So my advice to you is to go ahead and ask her out since you really seem to like her -- and perhaps work on changing your mindset towards women carrying contraception as they do so for the right reasons.