Wednesday 22 October 2014

Dear Mary: We're out of erotic fantasies, after 40 years

Published 22/10/2012 | 06:00

Fifty Shades of Grey sold 60,000 copies in the first two months in Ireland.

MY wife and I are now in our mid-60s and have been happily married for more than 40 years. Our sex life is still pretty good and one of the reasons for this is that about 13 years ago we managed to get some of Nancy Friday's books. They have given us the bit of 'inspiration' that we needed. The problem is that at this stage we know what's in these books almost off by heart. It would be most helpful if you could give us the names of some Dublin bookshops that stock books of an erotic nature, because unfortunately most of the bookshops in the provincial towns don't stock that type of book at all. Also, it would be most helpful if you could name a few of the books that would be helpful in this area.



Mary replies:

WHAT a refreshing letter -- I'm delighted that you have managed to maintain an active and interesting sex life through the years. For those readers who have never heard of Nancy Friday, I should explain that she has been one of the foremost writers of sexual fantasy for almost 40 years and a lot of her books are actual fantasies that people have written and she then had the great idea of interpreting them and putting into book form.

I can understand how you may have tired of using the same fantasies repeatedly -- she hasn't written very many books -- and so need a change.

Have you ever thought of making up your own fantasies? I often suggest to clients that they build a fantasy by setting a scene -- for instance, imagine that you are on your own in a hotel room -- and then the partners take turns in making up the next sentence.

For example, one of you is in the room and decides to call for room service and the other one is the person answering the telephone, or delivering the food, or whatever you decide.

It can be quite fun and if you use scenarios that you know are arousing for you it can give good results. Another popular writer of fantasy is Violet Blue and her Sweet Confessions -- Erotic Fantasies for Couples might be something that would interest you. Hodges Figgis in Dawson Street, Dublin (tel: 01 677-4754) has it in stock, so a visit there may be worthwhile, and you can then see what else it has on the shelves that may take your fancy.

Submit your letters to Mary anonymously at dearmary.ie.

Sunday Indo Living

Read More

Editors Choice



Also in Style