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Monday 22 September 2014

Dear Mary: I regret cheating on mother of my little boy

Mary O'Conor

Published 19/11/2012 | 06:00

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This story won't have a happy ending

I'm 33 years of age. I met a girl in 2003. In 2005 she left her friends and family and moved down to live with me. Things went great for the first four years, but then life got a bit boring for me and I started having other women in my house and being unfaithful to her. In the meantime, she bought a house down here. We were living together, but then she moved into her own house.

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We then went our separate ways, but after six months we sorted things and we had a child. We then moved back in together and again after six months, I was back treating her badly. I was with other women and always letting her down.

We broke up and this time last year she moved home with my child. It broke my heart and I hardly ever get to see my son.

I miss them both so much. Myself and the mother are fighting the whole time now, but I realise I have lost a great woman. I lie awake every night thinking of them and have realised I made the biggest mistake of my life.

I was very immature back when I was messing around, but now know I have lost them both. Then, six months ago, I brought her to my friend's wedding and we had a great time.

I really think deep down she still loves me and I have begged and begged her to give me one chance to prove I'm changed. I'm not the same person any more since they left and life is so lonely for me. I hope my story will be printed as it might show my ex-girlfriend how much I care.

Mary replies:

Now you have your wish and your story is in print. But it's really not a very nice story and I doubt if it will have a happy ending. This girl left her family and friends to be with you, which was a big commitment on her part, and it must have been awful for her to go back home, together with your son, and admit that it had been a mistake to trust you the second time.

I can understand her taking you back the first time, and no doubt you told her you were sorry, but your apology must have sounded pretty hollow when you started yet again having other women. You were in your late 20s when all of this happened, so it's a bit much to be claiming to have been immature.

Yes, she probably does love you at some level, and because of your son your lives will forever be intertwined to some degree.

But I don't see how she can ever trust you again.

This is not what you want to hear, and time may prove me wrong, but that is how I see it right now.

Submit your letters to Mary anonymously at dearmary.ie.

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