Published 20/02/2010 | 05:00
"I used to work for an airline and would have flings when I was working. How many? Anything between three and six a month, often at a hotel called Concorde House at Gatwick, London.
"There was a common understanding that what happened away stayed away. It was so much the norm that I didn't actually feel as if I was lying. I felt guilty when I woke up in the morning, but I had a system.
"We were always in hotels, and I would always go back to the girl's room. They felt more comfortable in their own room and I could leave in the morning, saying I had to take medication for an irritable bowel and it was embarrassing.
"My wife worked in the same industry. She knew what the score was and never challenged me, which worries me a little as she was probably up to something as well. In fact, I think women are the most clever, calculated deceivers of all.
"I remember once being on top of a girl when she picked up the phone to speak to her boyfriend. I couldn't believe it. She cancelled his call twice, but then took it the third time he rang.
"Sadly, I don't fly any more, so my lies now are more about whether I'm at the pub or if I have emptied the dishwasher: things to give me an easy life."