Thursday 21 September 2017

Ask Brian: I think my wealthy boyfriend should pay all my rent

Images: Getty
Images: Getty
Brian O'Reilly

Brian O'Reilly

Our no-nonsense agony uncle gets straight to the point of your most pressing issues.

Dear Brian,

My boyfriend of six months wants us to move in together. He's a successful entrepreneur and makes quite a bit of money.

He inherited a lot of money and has invested his money wisely - to put it simply, he's rich. As a teacher, I make significantly less.

He is looking at plush apartments that are frankly out of my budget but he refuses to talk about it because he says it's tacky.

He knows I make less money but doesn't want to budge with looking at somewhere less expensive because he doesn't want to compromise the comforts he's grown accustomed to.

He is very generous with his spending, we always go to new restaurants and have been on two holidays since January and we have just booked a wine tasting trip to France this July, which he has paid for.

I think the only fair thing to do is for him to pay my rent, but I don't know how to tell him. What should I do?

Brian replies:

Dear Anon,

I certainly think if he's insisting on moving somewhere that is way out of your price range, there does need to be some movement in terms of how much rent you pay.

You can't be expected to pay half the rent of somewhere way out of your price range.

However I do think it would be a massive mistake for you to pay no rent at all.

I think that could create a dynamic where it's his house, and you're temporarily staying there.

Paying rent, even if it's not a 50/50 split, means you are financially invested in the property.

I think holidays are one thing, but the arrangements regarding where you live are far more important.

Have a conversation with him and be clear on what your price limit is. Tell him you're happy to pay that; but should he want to live somewhere unattainable with that budget he'll have to stump up the difference.

You should never feel like a guest in your own home - and by not paying any rent you could find yourself in this scenario.

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