Thursday 17 August 2017

Ask Brian: I found intimate pictures of my boyfriend on his phone, but he hasn't been sending them to me

Ask Brian: I found intimate pictures of my boyfriend on his phone, but he hasn't been sending them to me
Ask Brian: I found intimate pictures of my boyfriend on his phone, but he hasn't been sending them to me
Brian O'Reilly

Brian O'Reilly

Our no-nonsense agony uncle gets straight to the point of your most pressing issues.

Dear Brian,

I've been going out with my boyfriend for about six months now and things have been going really well.

The other day I decided to play a joke on him and make a selfie of me the wallpaper on his phone.

When I went into his photos to set the wallpaper, I discovered he had recently taken a lot of photos of himself... let's say the sort of photo he'd taken rhymes with 'mick pics'.

The thing is, he hasn't been sending them to me.

I'm really confused, as I thought things had been going so well between us. I keep racking my brain trying to think of an innocent explanation, but am coming up short.

What should I do?

Brian replies

OK, I'm going to be honest with you. There's a 98.5% chance your boyfriend is a sleaze and needs to be dumped.

I think there's about a 1.5% chance there's an innocent explanation for these pictures.

These are as follows:

0.5% chance: He is taking the pictures for his own consumption (I'd still dump him for that).

0.5% chance: He's attempting to get into the high-brow, lucrative world of penis modelling.

0.5% chance: He's going to present you with some sort of creepy scrapbook of all his efforts (again, I'd tell him to get the boat).

So being real, he's sending them to someone, and it's not you.

Normally I'd scold you for looking at his phone, but you seem to have an innocent explanation for it.

If you think the relationship is good and truly believe there could be an innocent explanation, take it up with him.

Maybe he'll reveal a surprise trip to New York earned with the thousands he's raked in through his new venture in exotic modelling.

But I can tell from the tone of your email that you already know something's up.

I'd be prepared to dump him, if he's sending these pictures to someone when you're only together a few months how long until that turns into an affair?

Cut your losses and go.

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