Friday 20 October 2017

Ask Brian: I deliberately smashed my boyfriend's Playstation because he kept choosing FIFA over me

Our no-nonsense agony uncle gets straight to the point of your most pressing issues

(Stock photo)
(Stock photo)
Brian O'Reilly

Brian O'Reilly

I'm fed up being neglected for video games.

My boyfriend is always on his Playstation, I've spent countless hours at his just sitting beside him while he plays FIFA, forbidden from speaking. He never lets me play because I "don't take it seriously" and just have a mess. It's a video game not the bloody world cup final.

Last weekend we were meant to go out with my friends and he backed out at the last minute, to stay home and play his game.

I was so embarrassed and had to pretend to my friends that he'd come down with something.

The next day I was over in his a little worse for wear after the night out, and I saw red. When he went to the toilet I took the playstation from the shelf and dropped it on the floor. It looked fine on the outside but I could hear something had come loose on the inside. I panicked, I only did it in the heat of the moment. So I just put it back on the shelf and  then seduced him to distract him.

Later that evening when he went to play it again, instead of watching the new Fifty Shades of Grey with me which I've been waiting ages to see and he knows that.  Sure enough, it wouldn't switch on. I deserve an Oscar for my "shocked" performance. Inside I was delighted.

The thing is, his younger brother who's only 11 was the last one playing it and has got the blame for breaking it. My boyfriend could hear something loose on the inside and assumed his brother knocked it or something that morning.

His little brother a little brat and always breaking things around the house, so it wasn't a stretch. I left my GHD on the floor in my boyfriend's room before and he stepped on it and broke it. He only said "sorry" and didn't offer to buy me a new one.  I know he didn't mean the sorry either because he's a smarmy little git.

Now his parents have grounded his younger brother for breaking it and not telling the truth and owning up.

Should I tell my boyfriend it was me and that I did it by accident? I'm happy the playstation is gone.

They can't ground his little brother forever can they? It's just like karma for him breaking my GHD isn't it? He needs to learn some manners so I think maybe I'm doing him a favour in the long-run by keeping quiet, plus the playstation is gone.

I know things are messy, but I think they'll work out ok?

 

Brian replies:

Where to start.

There are several problems here, and all of them are to do with you.

You should never have smashed his property because you feel you're being neglected.

There are other ways around this issue; talking with him about it would be first on the list,  property damage doesn't feature on our list of possible solutions.

I know you said it was a heat of the moment action, but you might need to examine your anger issues if lashing out physically is how you express yourself.

The act of damaging the playstation is bad enough in itself; allowing a child to take the fall for it is really appalling.

I don't know how old you are, but given you mention a night out and a hangover I'm going to assume you're 18 of over, and should definitely have more sense and decency than to blame a child for your actions.

Whether you get on with your boyfriend's little brother or not is irrelevant - it's not right to stand by and allow him to take the blame for something he didn't do.

It's not "karma" for him breaking your GHD. Guess what? When you leave things on the floor, there's a risk of people standing on them.

Maybe him standing on it was karma for you being careless enough to leave it there in the first place? Your logic cuts both ways.

It's abhorrent that you would let a child take the blame for something that happened because you can't control your temper.

The very fact you wrote the email suggest you know what you're doing is wrong - I don't think you would expect anyone to condone the behaviour.

You need to own up. Tell your boyfriend it was an accident if you want to limit the damage and cover your own back - but you can't continue to allow a young boy be punished for it.

I think you really need to examine your actions here and ask yourself if this is the sort of person you want to be - causing property damage because you don't get your way and then letting a child take the fall for it.

If your boyfriend knew what you had really done - deliberately broke the playstation and then lied about it - I think your relationship would be over.

Maybe you need to consider he isn't the source of all the problems in your relationship and that you shoulder some of the blame.

If you feel neglected in the future talk to him, and if that doesn't sort things out then finish the relationship.

Property damage is not the answer.

 

Do you have a problem you'd like some advice on? Email askbrian@independent.ie  to submit in confidence.

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