Why did Victoria Beckham miss the Viva Forever photocall?
The mystery of whether Victoria Beckham intentionally snubbed her Spice Girls band mates at last night's Viva Forever arrivals photocall in London, or whether she really was 'stuck in traffic' as she claimed, can be swiftly solved by comparing two pictures.
EXHIBIT A: Sporty, Scary, Ginger and Baby
From a stylistic perspective there's not much to celebrate in this line-up. That Geri should turn up in a completely OTT fairy frock so big it practically obscures most of the other girl's outfits altogether, is standard (her solo debut hit 'Look At Me' was the first clue). She's gone for a light colour to draw as much of the eye to her as possible and squeezed her boobs up and together as much as corsetry will allow.
On her left, Mel B, possessed of an enviable radiance and natural beauty has insisted on borrowing a frock from Jane McDonald, slashed up to the brink of her 'scary' regions, which allows her northern barmaid bicep tattoo to shine. Talking of terrible tattoos, dear Mel C who has achieved so much, sartorially speaking, since leaving the band, had all of hers on show - and boy are there a lot of them. She's said before that she regrets having most of them, so why-oh-why on the coldest night of the year, would she opt to wear something that gives them maximum exposure?
Then comes Emma Bunton, hair bleached and poker-straight, enough fake tan to make Helen Flanagan jealous and a potentially lovely blue lace dress rendered tacky-tastic by her ill-judged choice of undergarment and ill-matched pair of nude platform shoes.
EXHIBIT B: Team Beckham
Enter the Beckhams, gliding up the red carpet like a perfectly coordinated, genetically-blessed supermodel unit. While Victoria looked ultra-chic in one of her own catwalk creations - slim, cropped trousers, relaxed crisp white shirt, elegant stilettos and a coat that we would happily trade all our Spice Girl's CDs for - her boys were all kitted out in dashing ensembles by Burberry Tailoring. And can we just say 'move over David'. Yes you still look like a total Adonis, but yet again Romeo (AKA The Heartbreaker) has stolen the show here. How many 10-year-olds can work a trench over a three-piece-suit with such grace? Like, none!
Exhibit B is far and away the preferable Kodak moment here, and if Victoria's four years at the coalface of the fashion industry have taught her anything, it's the importance of looking good by any means necessary. Opting to bask in the reflected glow of Team Beckham really is a smart move here always.
By Belinda White, Telegraph.co.uk