Thursday 29 September 2016

10 stylish life lessons we learned from Absolutely Fabulous

Jamie Tuohy

Published 29/06/2016 | 11:42

Joanna Lumley and Jennifer Saunders in 'Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie'.
Joanna Lumley and Jennifer Saunders in 'Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie'.
Absolutely Fabulous

Ahead of the hotly anticipated Ab Fab movie, we’ve rounded up some of the most important edicts we’ve learned from the absolutely riotous and fabulously irrepressible Patsy Stone and Edina Monsoon.

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1. Life’s not worth living without a partner in wine

Patsy and Eddie are undisputedly everyone’s #FriendshipGoals and we all need our very own partner in wine – or in their case, Bolly! Everyone needs a bestie who will be waiting at the end of the staircase with a light for the four cigarettes you have in your mouth after having to endure an excruciating no-smoking cab journey.

Or a friend like Patsy who can vouch for you when you get caught stealing a bottle of wine by saying, “My name is Patsy Stone and I’m an alcoholic and what she did was an act of humanitarian mercy!”

2. You have to be cruel to be kind

Patsy and Eddie are notoriously acid-tongued and don’t suffer any fools. Their mutual contempt for Eddie’s daughter, Saffy has resulted in some of the show’s best-loved one-liners. Remember the time that Eddie derided Saffy’s sartorial choices by asking her,  “Why does everything you wear look like it’s bearing a grudge? You’ve got a wardrobe full of little murderers!” And she was dead right!

3. A driver is a basic human right

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Life is much easier when you’ve got a chauffeur at your beck and call. That way you can get dropped straight to the offices of the magazine where you work as fashion director, run in to do five minutes’ ‘work’, leave to pick up your BFF for a spot of shopping in Harrod’s and lunch at the Ivy - all the while never having to worry about parking.

4. Always have a fridge full of chilled Bolly

Well, this one is self-explanatory, really! A scene hardly goes by in Ab Fab without Patsy or Eddie swilling from a bottle of chilled Bollinger champagne and according to them, it’s never too early to crack one open. Cheers, sweetie!

5. Don’t let Stella get you down

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Stella McCartney, that is! Patsy and Eddie’s obsession with all things celebrity has seen them go to extraordinary lengths to befriend the A-List stars and the movie promises to be a veritable who’s who of the celeb world, with guest appearances from the likes of Kate Moss, Joan Collins and Jon Hamm.

Throughout the series, Eddie’s infatuation with Stella McCartney saw the designer repeatedly reject the PR maven, but even in the face of constant failure, Eddie keeps trooping on and trying again. If at first you don’t succeed, etc.…

6. Fashion is a way of life

Well, this one speaks for itself.

7. Never explain yourself to anyone by answering stupid questions

Remember in the “PR” episode when Saffy asked her mother what is was that she actually did for a living? Eddie replied with, “PR! I PR things. Places. Concepts. Lulu. I PR them! I am, and if you’ve heard of me, I have PR!” A gloriously vague response and a life lesson to us all – don’t waste your time by having to state the obvious to people.

8. Always have a back catalogue of bitchy one-liners

If we’ve learned one thing from Ab Fab, it’s that there’s nothing quite as cutting as a sharp-tongued witticism to put someone back in their place. Patsy and Eddie have given us a wealth of fabulously disparaging comebacks down through the years – for example: “She was so anally retentive, she couldn’t sit down for fear of sucking up the furniture!” Or “She’s cold, I bet she has her period in ice cubes.” Or a personal favourite: “I told her the only thing she looked good in was a body bag!”

9. Confidence and self-belief is everything

Whatever you choose to do is cool, because you are cool. And fabulous.

10. Gender norms belong in the bin

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Finally, Ab Fab was so revolutionary and popular because it was one of the first instances where viewers were presented with – to quote Joanna Lumley – “women behaving badly.” Patsy and Eddie are notoriously mischievous and live of their own volition, never seeking approval from anyone other than themselves.

They may be vain, self-obsessed and at times totally delusional, but they have taken feminism and ran with it and they don’t care what anyone thinks of their audacious lifestyles.

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