A Lingerie Buying Guide for Men
The notion of being presented with some vile lingerie by your other half isn’t just a Christmas cliché. It’s a fact.
Research backs it up. According to a survey by lingerie company Fox & Rose, men make incredibly bad choices when it comes to picking underwear with one in five women questioned admitting that they had never worn lingerie they had received as a gift.
Of the 1,600 women surveyed, crotchless knickers topped the least of things they would least like to receive and PVC pants, edible underwear and fishnets weren’t too far behind.
Unfortunately it would seem that the spectre of Forty Shades of Grey means that Irish women are even more likely this year to receive the gift of ill-advised undies.
At Debenhams sales of lacy bra and knicker sets in red, black and purple are up 63 per cent, while baby doll nighties up 105 per cent, as a result, the high street retailer says, of the erotic novel, adding that their lingerie departments have seen a huge increase in the number of men shopping there.
It’s enough to fill any woman, who does not relish the thought of having to feign enthusiasm for a tacky looking red-trimmed black, lace up bra, with complete fear.
So in order to prevent a relationship MOT occurring on December 25th after said item or similar has been unwrapped, here is a failsafe guide for men to buying frillies for their loved ones.
Don’t Do It
The margin for error is so ginormous, that it wouldn’t be a bad idea to forgo lingerie buying altogether.
You’re not going to offend her grievously with a bottle of her favourite perfume, in the way that you might if you get her size totally wrong.
You’re not going to be met with a death stare on Christmas Day, if you give some tasteful jewellery as opposed to an underwear set she thinks is horrible.
But please note: Don’t surprise her with a romantic getaway.
A survey commissioned by British Airways found that sixty per cent of women hate an unexpected holiday because they like to be prepared.
But If You Must....
Use your common sense. And this means checking the underwear she already owns for the correct size as getting their partner’s measurements wrong ranks as men’s number one lingerie crimes against women.
Buying anything too small is an unforgivable and will have her bitterly regretting the tin of Roses and copious amounts of Baileys.
Buy A Colour She Likes
Black tends to be failsafe. Red and purple can veer on the garish so be careful with these.
Assess What She Already Owns
If garters, suspender belts, basques or anything similar don’t already form part of her underwear collection, there’s probably a reason why.
And it’s not because she has just never thought of them.
Learn Your Labels
Lingerie labels women love: Agent Provocateur; Damaris, Myla; Elle McPherson Intimates; Stella McCartney, La Perla, Maison Close.
And what won’t earn you brownie points: Anything fronted by a TOWIE cast member; sexy Santa basques from Penneys; PVC air hostess uniforms from Ann Summers.
Gift receipt. Gift receipt. Gift receipt. You know it makes sense.