Cara Delevingne on stopping antidepressants at 16: 'That week, I lost my virginity'
Published 05/08/2016 | 12:22
Cara Delevingne stopped taking anti-depressants because she didn't want to become dependent on medication.
The model-turned-actress has been candid about her battle with depression, and how it left her feeling so low that she even contemplated suicide around the age of 16. She was placed on a strong cocktail of medication but decided to come off the tablets when she was 18 because she never wanted to become reliant on them.
“I hate meds," she told Britain's Esquire magazine. "I don’t agree with them. It’s so easy to abuse them."
She added that she immediately felt the difference once she came off her medication because her feelings returned and she had sex for the first time.
"That week (I stopped taking them), I lost my virginity, I got into fights, I cried, I laughed," she admitted. "It was the best thing in the world to feel things again. And I get depressed still but I would rather learn to figure it out myself rather be dependent on meds, ever.”
During the interview, she spoke about having a mental breakdown as a teenager. Dealing with her hormones and the pressure of achieving good school grades sent her into a downwards spiral so severe that she even considered taking her own life.
"I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I realised how lucky and privileged I was, but all I wanted to do was die," she explained. “I felt so guilty because of that and hated myself because of that, and then it’s a cycle. I didn’t want to exist anymore. I wanted for each molecule of my body to disintegrate. I wanted to die.”
During that time, Cara, 23, dropped out of boarding school and pursued a career in modelling, following in the footsteps of her older sister Poppy.