90210 star AnnaLynne McCord reveals suicidal feelings after sexual abuse
90210 star AnnaLynne McCord has revealed her painful past, in which she contemplated taking her own life.
The actress (26) opened up earlier this year about being raped by a former friend and expanded her on her experience in a personal essay for this month's Cosmopolitan magazine.
McCord said she wanted to help other women in the same position and let them know there is life at the other side/
When she was just a teenager she had moved to LA trying to get her big break and she woke up in the middle of the night to find her friend attacking her.
“At first, I felt so disoriented and numb, I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep….I wondered if I had done something to give him the wrong idea. I felt afraid of making him angry," she wrote.
Her older sister Angel intervened and encouraged her to seek help when she discovered her sister in a hotel room with a bottle of pills.
She added that she had a distorted view of relationships due to her physically abusive childhood.
Her fundamental Christian parents routinely exposed their children to systematic beatings.
"My parents believed in strict 'discipline,' as they called it—I would call it abuse," she explained.
"The punishments were painful and ritualistic. We would have to bend over the bed, sometimes with our pants down, arms outstretched, and get spanked—with a ruler in our younger years and later with a paddle that my parents bought when they thought the ruler wasn't strong enough."
As a result, AnnaLynne says she had warped relationships and pushed men to be violent towards her.
She wrote: "Because of the physical abuse, I didn't believe there were borders between other people's bodies and my own. I didn't believe I had a voice."
AnnaLynne has been happily dating Prison Break actor Dominic Purcell since 2011 and says she has finally found peace in her personal life.
"I forgave myself for not standing up for myself, and I began channeling my experience into something good. I have my message for women and girls: You have a voice."