Fake Tan: Get real and ditch that oompa loompa look
Published 17/08/2010 | 14:47
With the new trend for minimalist dressing this Autumn/Winter I thought it time to address the fake tan "issue".
Irish women, please step away from the fake tan immediately!
Honestly people. I say it time and time again but there’s no escaping it this season.
Many pale Irish lovelies feel pasty and unattractive without a bottle of muck poured over them. They turn their backs on the pale and interesting look in favour of an obvious fake tan. Creasing in the elbows, blotchy at the armpits, turning white clothes to green; these are just some of the side-effects of over-indulging in fake tan.
Every summer there’s a huge hike in fake tan sales as women (and men) prepare to bare flesh at home and on holidays. Those on a budget opt for Piz Buin, No 7 and Rimmel’s Sun Shimmer while St Tropez, Fake Bake and Clarins remain celebrity favourites.
Indeed countless celebrity tanning disasters have highlighted the ridiculousness of this trend. But, there are still many hanging on to their bottle and reluctant to free the Oompa Loompa within. While we may be used to seeing the likes of Lindsay Lohan, Katie Price and Donatella Versce getting tangoed now even celebrity darling Cheryl Cole can’t control herself.
Hopefully the Twilight effect will soon filter through and we’ll see more girls embracing the lighter side of life ala Kirsten Stewart. In the mean time, if you’re reluctant to give up the tan altogether you may want to take a detour thorough Debenhams next time you go out and test yourself on The Tan Tone Chart.
It’s designed to give customers an indication as to where they fall on the tanning scale. Starting at ‘Pale and Interesting’- (Kirsten
Stewart) the chart displays six increasing degrees of tan tones with ‘Radioactive Orange’ (Hulk Hogan) at the extreme end of the scale.
It’s aimed at “encouraging a healthy glow, whilst avoiding the dreaded orange”. They’ve even got San Tropez tan remover wipes on hand for anyone who’s gone overboard with the mitt!
A great idea; novel, practical and a major breakthrough in the fight against orange. Simon Cowell is “Flourescent Day Glo” and Donatello Versace is “Burned to a Crisp”. Check where you lie on the scale.