Manchester United interested in signing £40m Toni Kroos - reports
Manchester United are interested in signing Real Madrid midfielder Toni Kroos, according to reports in Spain.
Spanish media outlet Fichajes claims that United could make a £40m bid for the German World Cup winner, who is unsettled in Madrid and has reportedly told his agent to find him a new club.
Chelsea and Paris Saint-Germain are also interested, and those two clubs, as well as United, have made contact with Kroos' agent Volker Struth, according to Fichajes.
This being silly season, you expect to see the odd outlandish rumour. But it's only January, aka lesser-silly season minor. So what follows is quite the surprise...
Marca reckons that Adidas wants to make Manchester United a powerhouse again by convincing Pep Guardiola to move to Old Trafford as a replacement for Louis van Gaal.
But, get this, its plan to make this dramatic re-ascension happen involves a certain Lionel Messi.
Marca quotes the mysterious "several sources in the United Kingdom" to allege that Old Trafford will soon become the most exciting place in the footballing universe.
Adidas is apparently so keen to make the deal happen it is prepared to put some financial heft behind it.
Not only that, but Adidas will reportedly use all of its smooth flirtatious powers to convince Pep and Leo that Stretford is a hip and fashionable town to spend time in.
Guardiola and Messi are both sponsored by Adidas, which has also strengthened its relationship with Pep since he moved to Bayern Munich.
Unfortunately, Marca also trots out the inconvenient assumed truth, which is that Pep Guardiola is most likely to join Manchester City.
But let us just dream, for a while. Lionel Messi, in England. Lionel Messi, actually seeing it he can manage a cold Tuesday night at Stoke. Lionel Messi, appearing in the same team as Marouane Fellaini.
Yes please. Yes to all.
Well, maybe not a yes to the Fellaini part, because Italian website Calciomercato says AC Milan will make a formal bid for the large fella with the undeniable haircut.
That will happen as soon as a deal for Milan's Brazilian striker Luiz Adriano to Jiangsu Suning, a Chinese football club, is sorted. Do AC Milan consider Marouane Fellaini a striker? Do they know what happens when Marouane Fellaini plays up front? Let's move on.
Another Italian organisation, this going by the name Sport Mediaset, says Louis Van Gaal is mere hours away from agreeing a £16m deal for Alekasndar Dragovic.
Dragovic is a defender who plays for Dynamo Kiev and is regarded as a tough-tackling centre back. He's also presumably dead excited about becoming top pals with Lionel Messi.
Finally, Unhited have announced that young keeper Kiern O'Hara has left the club. But hold back your cards of condolence for now, as he's only going on loan.
Re-find your cards of condolence.