Friday 28 October 2016

Arsenal's £31m bid for Karim Benzema rejected by Real Madrid

Published 21/07/2015 | 08:17

Karim Benzema is a reported target for Arsenal
Karim Benzema is a reported target for Arsenal

There is an awful lot of Karim Benzema content sloshing around the world wide internet this morning. Let us try to unpick it, together.

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The Mail says that Benzema is the striker that Arsene Wenger would most like to sign for Arsenal. More than 90s Ronaldo or peak-era Diego Maradona!

Unfortunately Wenger knows he has no real chance of getting his wish as Real Madrid are not willing to sell. Partly because Karim Benzema is Real president Florentino Perez's "favourite players". Always good to be making your transfer decisions in a similar manner to deciding which Merlin stickers to swap...

Real manager Rafa Benítez will only consider selling Benzema if someone of similar talent can be recruited. The Mail suggests Sergio Aguero, but we will also throw a couple of names into the hat: 90s Ronaldo and peak-era Diego Maradona.

More encouraging indications from the Independent, which claims Arsenal have made contact with Real Madrid about Benzema , probably via WhatsApp, because it's 2015.

Benzema, apparently is "not saying no" to talks with Arsenal. Progress! Still no closer to 90s Ronaldo or peak-era Diego Maradona, though.

There's some varying guesses about how much Benzema would cost, ranging from a lowball £20m to a... highball? £40m. The Express put it at a "stunning £31m" and says Arsenal have already made a bid.

Real have allegedly rejected it.

I think we all feel that something is missing from this Benzema bonanza: the thoughts of Harry Redknapp. The erstwhile QPR manager and Nintendo Wii spokesperson says signing Benzema would be enough to clinch the title for Arsenal.

"If Arsenal were to land Karim Benzema then they'd be one player away from being capable of launching a serious title challenge," Redknapp said to Kicca. One player like 90s Ronaldo or peak-era Diego Maradona?

 Away from Benzema and running a sub-par joke into the ground, The Metro says Arsenal have made a "significant offer" to sign Barcelona midfielder Oriol NO RELATION WHATSOEVER Busquets.

He is a box-to-box midfielder, though. So from the same position family, if not the same actual family.

In the event that the boy Nacho Monreal leaves for Athletic Bilbao, efficient Arsenal have already lined up a replacement.

 It's Sead Kolasniac, according to the Metro. He's a left-back that plays for Schalke No Fear, or as that translates in German, Schalke Fussballmanschaft 04 Vielen Dank.

Kolasniac is Bosnian, like Edin Dzeko, so perhaps he'll ease through that improbable-sounding rumour from the other day?

A far more plausible rumour involves Julian Draxler, who Arsenal have been trying to sign since Bruce Rioch was in charge.

Sadly for Arsenal, and transfer rumour round-up compilers, the Express says Juventus are in advanced talks to sign the winger from Schalke.

The agony is prolonged. The sadness will never go. Have a great day!

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