"Wayne's not very well and it's a dirty thing for his wife to know he had relations with a prostitute. He was seeing the same bird for seven months." -- Tottenham defender Benoit Assou-Ekotto gives his unique take on Wayne Rooney's marital problems.
"I think that Mr Hodgson, he doesn't understand. Every single press conference is even worse than the last one. He's talking about things that he doesn't know. And some people cannot see a priest on a mountain of sugar." -- One can only imagine what the Italians are making of Rafa Benitez.
"It was, quite frankly, one of the most dreadful acts I have ever seen from a professional footballer and he is quickly becoming the most unpopular player in the Premier League. He is more devious than Cristiano Ronaldo and Didier Drogba, a real unpleasant player." -- It's getting more difficult by the week to argue with John Aldridge's assessment of Manchester United midfielder Nani.