If any government wishes to formulate a policy to ease the cost of pension funds, they need look no further than Manchester for inspiration. It's the city where nobody ever wants to retire.
Alex Ferguson's evergreen enthusiasm shows no sign of wilting and Ricky Hatton's desire to be a contender again will see him reacquainted with a boxing ring (and probably a canvas) in the near future. The most effortless comeback since Elvis took a shine to sequins, however, has arrived courtesy of Paul Scholes, the golden oldie whose re-release may yet return United to number one status.
Scholes has been guiding United fans down memory line ever since he was summoned from the tedium of being prematurely dubbed an ex-player.
Forget The Stone Roses, Scholes is supplying the most impressive reunion performances in Manchester this year, and the manner with which he engineered this comfortable victory over Wigan makes you wonder what possessed him to quit in the first place.
It becomes clearer every time he plays why he reconsidered. It must have been infuriating for him in the stands knowing he could still do so much better than some of those expected to replace him.
A cheeky conclusion would be to imagine he'd seen one Michael Carrick pass too many go astray for any United lover to tolerate.
Scholes tapped in United's opener to mark his 700th United appearance with a goal from a more youthful era when he was still considered an attacking midfielder.
Nowadays, he tends to indulge in more simple pleasures than goalscoring, such as retaining possession, setting the tempo for the other 19 outfield players with the honour of sharing his patch of grass and indulging in a trademark ridiculous attempt to win the ball with a diving tackle. He'll never be any good at that, but what a gem of a player he is.
The timeless classics are always worthy of enduring appreciation and in the form of Scholes and Ryan Giggs, who was also outstanding, Manchester United possess a duo the like of which they don't make anymore.
Ferguson ensured Scholes and Giggs left their stage in harmony, 71 minutes into what had become a stroll.
They'd orchestrated their sides re-invigoration after a one-paced first half, when the only notable incidents were a dubious penalty award -- saved by the otherwise off-peak Ali Al-Habsi -- and a couple of isolated, contemptuously ill-timed and insensitive chants from a small section of the crowd.
Sadly, the halitosis chorus besmirching a distinguished arena offered a brief but clearly audible resistance to Ferguson's call for a new era of understanding between his and Liverpool's supporters in the aftermath of the Hillsborough Independent Panel's report.
United chief executive David Gill is expected to hold talks with Liverpool managing director Ian Ayre this week in an attempt to defuse escalating tensions between supporters ahead of Sunday's clash in the wake of the chants which were immediately condemned as "deplorable" by the Red Devils.
Club allegiance will determine whether you consider the response to this overstated or underplayed, but the incident shows how, for a minority, empathy remains the least abundant quality in football, particularly where United and Liverpool are concerned.
Sadly, a familiar rancid tone has been set ahead of United's trip to Anfield next weekend, although there was something equally depressing about the social-media militia who both demanded full exposure for the minority of morons, or attacked those who merely reported what took place.
Fortunately, there was enough class on the pitch to compensate for the putrid few off it.
A starting line-up with no Rooney, no Van Persie and no Kagawa still presented no problem once United's greater intensity and Wigan's wretched defending led to a procession.
Debutant Alexander Buttner made an impressive enough start to suggest Patrice Evra can plan for a few more spare afternoons.
Buttner only displayed rawness with an eagerness to engage in the most robust means of winning back possession --a trait which will encourage rather than concern his manager. The Dutchman -- certain to be allocated the prefix 'flying' in the near future given his forays down the left -- also scored, although Al-Habsi claimed an unwanted assist.
Javier Hernandez and another excellent newcomer Nick Powell completed the rout, the ex-Crewe youngster adapting instantly to his new environment. Scholes and Giggs had received their ovation and taken their place on the bench by then, no doubt reassured by the symbolism of the sight of United's future seamlessly filling the void they'd just left.
Roberto Martinez complained about one-sided refereeing and Danny Welbeck's diving and tackling. He was justified with the latter complaint.
Welbeck is taking the idea of applying the Olympic spirit in English football too literally with his recent Tom Daley tributes.
Fortunately, Hernandez missed the second-minute penalty Wellbeck 'earned' although it made no difference to the outcome.
United head into Champions League duty with ominous ease. Their most valuable limbs were rested and the most ageing muscles show little sign of wear and tear.
Some of their most iconic victories were built on the concept of the miraculous comeback. If he claims another title winners' medal, Scholes' return will sit comfortably alongside the greatest of them. (©Daily Telegraph, London)