Monday 26 September 2016

Irvine Welsh reacts after Partick Thistle unveil utterly terrifying new mascot

Published 23/06/2015 | 10:18

Kingsley
Kingsley

Partick Thistle unveiled their new mascot on Twitter on Monday afternoon, introducing the world to Kingsley, the physical embodiment of nightmares.

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With a jaunty, jovial opening message of "HIYA PALS!" Kingsley the terrifying star creature replaced beloved former Thistle mascot Jaggy MacBee (real name) as the crowd fronting symbol of the club.

Kingsley is desiged by artist David Shrigley and inspired by new commercial sponsor Kingsford Capital Management, which explains the name Kingsley but not why the head looks like Lisa Simpson if she had been tortured.

 The similarities between the monster, a thistle and the KCM logo are obvious though whether the tagline "Down To Business" also refers to the consuming of childrens' souls remains unclear.

What we can be sure of is that the response to the mascot has been nothing short of frightened, with many questioning what sort of a person could allow such a beast to roam the corridors of Firhill when it appears to yearn for sweet, sweet death almost as much as it wants to enslave man-kind.

The similarities between the monster, a thistle and the KCM logo are obvious though whether the tagline "Down To Business" also refers to the consuming of childrens' souls remains unclear.

What we can be sure of is that the response to the mascot has been nothing short of frightened, with many questioning what sort of a person could allow such a beast to roam the corridors of Firhill when it appears to yearn for sweet, sweet death almost as much as it wants to enslave man-kind.

Renowned author Irvine Welsh summed it up:

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