Not even my new dieting buddy can keep me from the pre- Christmas binge

Published 03/12/2013|05:38

  • Share

I was invited to a talk on nutrition last week and I decided to go along for the craic. It was a Monday evening and there was feck all on the telly, what did I have to lose?....... My dignity as it turned out!

  • Share
  • Go To

I had no sooner sat down when I realised there was a little bit more going on than a chat on nutrition. Girls of all shapes and sizes were being called into another room by a lanky looking fella in a tracksuit and coming back out again five minutes later looking sheepish.

'What's going on?' I asked the girl beside me. 'Oh he's weighing everybody in,' she explained. I nearly had heart failure. 'What?! Nobody said anything to me about being weighed.' I began frantically trying to figure out how I was going to lose a few pounds in the next five minutes.

Cowering in the corner behind a pillar, I thought I'd gotten away with it and was just heaving a sigh of relief when he called my name. 'Justine, you're the last,' he said beaming at me. 'Ah you're alright,' says I. 'I know how much I weigh.'

'Yes but I don't, so come on, up you come and then we'll all have a chat about how we're going to get in shape for Christmas.' I reluctantly followed him up the stairs to a room with a big scary looking scales in the middle of the floor.

I surveyed my clothing - Jeans, jumper, boots and a jacket, sure they alone must weigh about four pounds I mused. 'Can I take my clothes off?' I enquired. Mr. Motivator nearly lost his life! 'Eh.....No! But you can take your shoes off.' Big of him.

I did as I was told and gingerly approached the scales. He fiddled around with it then told me to step on. At first I decided I wasn't going to look but then curiosity got the better of me. The numbers kept climbing and I would've screamed Stop but I was rendered speechless.

'Sh**e" I muttered when it finally came to a halt.

'Ah it wasn't that bad, you're grand' said Mr. Motivator. 'Yeah well it would've been a whole lot bloody better if you'd let me take my clothes off,' I muttered.

The upshot of all this was he paired us off with anonymous buddies who we were supposed to text every night for a week, to encourage them to keep up the good work and step away from the treats.

To be fair it worked quite well until Friday when I went out on my first Christmas night out and texted my buddy, "can't send you message of encouragement tonight , I'm under the influence." She replied that everyone deserved a night off.

The next night I texted her to tell her I had my head stuck in a tin of Celebrations. She suggested I just have one or two. I ate all the malteasers and galaxies.

Sunday night I adopted the 'Might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb' approach, and had a burger and chips before diving into the Fox's premium selection biccy tin.

My buddy is declining to comment at this stage. I am a lost cause!

New Ross Standard

Read More

Classifieds

CarsIreland

Independent Shopping.ie

Meet, chat and connect with
singles in your area

Independent Shopping.ie

Meet Singles Now

Findajob

Apps

Now available on

GrabOne Deals

News