Working it out: If you want to party, stay the night
I was in party mood this last weekend. Events conspired to ensure that I moved from one set of good company to another, and parties being parties, alcohol was somewhere in the mix. Living where I do, driving is also part of the mix, and life is much better for all if never the twain meet. There is no greater killjoy than trying to estimate how much you have had and whether you are under the limit. It is a mug's game.
Friday night I think of as my night off. So I knew a night of fizzy water was unlikely to be possible. I drove to my friend's house and had decided that if I did not stick to zero drinks I could prevail on one of the other guests who does not drink to return me to my bed. Tee totallers are a very valuable species of human in rural Ireland. I would return on my bicycle the following day to retrieve my car.
When you drive to someone's house you do not get an accurate impression of just how many hills you traverse and how steep they are. The following morning, I had ample time to ponder this as I struggled to my destination, put the bike in the boot, and returned home a shattered man.