Why are so many celebrities destroying themselves with tattoos?
Caitlin McBride says that a real friend wouldn't let you tattoo your face - or your bum - no matter how rich and famous you are.
Published 12/09/2013 | 10:19
Cheryl Cole's giant rose tattoo painted across her bum and lower back has genuinely affected me.
She has always been in my top five girl crushes, long considered one of the most beautiful women in the world.
And yet, she has covered her body in gigantic tattoos.
Not personal, meaningful and discreet ink or even an embarrassing memory from a drunken night out.
But long thought out, well-intentioned tattoos...all over.
Her latest black and red rose tattoo took a reported 55 hours to complete.
That's about 54 hours and 58 minutes more than I would be willing to tolerate a needle painting my body.
I can look past the barb wire on her leg and the Polynesian symbol on her wrist; but the rose is hard to ignore, and that was clearly her agenda.
Now Sinead O'Connor has joined the ranks - again, Sinead, who was once considered a great beauty of our generation - is no stranger to tattoos, but inking your face is an entirely different story.
When I think of a face tattoo, I think of Mike Tyson.
Sinead O'Connor may be a strong woman, but she's heavyweight boxing champion.
The initials 'B' and 'Q' which feature on both of her cheeks is reportedly to remind her of the individual whose initials they represent, so that she will never forget what he did to her.
Now I'd be the first to say that I'm a prude when it comes to tattoos.
Personally I've never been tempted as I still haven't experienced anything that I think is worthwhile to permanently mark my body with.
Not yet, and more than likely, not ever.
I do have a soft spot for men with tattoo sleeves and a new appreciation for the art that goes behind the intricate ink...but not on your face.
These tattoo enthusiast stars just prove once again how detached celebrities really are from reality.
There is no one to step in and say, "Sinead dear, I know you're a grown woman, but you will regret tattooing a man's initials on your face."
Or, "Cheryl, my love, you live a life most people could only dream of, you do not need to cover half of your body with a rose tattoo to be complete."
For they are the cash cows, surrounded by "yes" people who never met money they didn't like.
If I mentioned to any of my friends that I wanted to emulate Sinead or Cheryl in the above fashion, I would be (very) quickly rebuffed and brought smack down to earth.
My sister would murder me, my mother would be mortified by me and my best friends would react in a way that true friends do - intervening with tough love.
So Cheryl, Sinead, Tulisa (I'd never forget you Miss Contostavlos), think twice before marking your body. Again.
When you're young it seems fun, but let me remind what the word 'permanent' means.
It means Forever.
Now imagine Cheryl Cole at 80 years old with a giant rose tattoo on a saggy bum.