Thursday 29 September 2016

Scrum down for Fifty Shades of George

Published 13/07/2015 | 02:30

George Hook is writing a series of erotic novels. It's hard to know what to say about that. Other than block your eyes and ears and wait for further instructions. He revealed all when he appeared on The Brendan O'Connor Show on RTE Radio 1 during the week. He even read an excerpt. It's easy enough to find it on the internet - just Google 'I'd like to be terrified.' Maybe follow that by Googling 'how to treat post-traumatic stress disorder.'

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George explained that the books are about an ageing, fat, balding broadcaster called Jeff. He added that they are not autobiographical. Really? Let's put it this way, George - nobody is going to think these books are about Claire Byrne.

You have to admire his chutzpah. Getting people turned on with a bit of saucy prose isn't as easy as people might think. Doing it when they can't shake a mental image of George in his underpants would be quite the achievement.

Seriously though, who'd bet against him? Say what you will about George, but there is no doubt that he knows what makes us tick. He will be aware that 460,000 copies of Fifty Shades of Grey were sold here in the last four years. That's probably about 459,999 more people than ever read Ulysses. (Yes, Senator Norris, we're talking about you.) All that George needs now is a title to capture the imagination. 50 Shades of George is probably a bit too obvious. How about this? He's a first- time author of erotic fiction. That can surely only mean one title. Rookie Hookie Nookie.

Pat Fitzpatrick

Sunday Independent

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