Quotes of the week
Published 06/03/2016 | 02:30
"Charming as always." - Leo Varadkar in response to former TD and justice minister Alan Shatter's criticism of Fine Gael's election campaign, claiming the communications (which he hypothesised Leo ran) were a 'disaster'.
"When he gets to heaven, it'll be the first time anyone ever told St Peter to feck off."
Emmet Kelly in the eulogy at the funeral for his late father Frank Kelly, who was best known for his Father Ted character, Fr Jack.
"The Healy-Raes are about to break Twitter."
One commentator in response to the appearance of the poll-topping Kerry politicians on The Late Late Show.
"We are all hurting."
An e-mail from Joan Burton to Labour members in the wake of the general election losses.
"I hope his guilt tortures and abuses him as he did me."
A sexual abuse victim on the sentencing of her father in Clonmel Circuit Court last week.
"The air feels great out here. I have no idea why you guys are all bundled up."
Astronaut Scott Kelly on landing in Kazakhstan after spending almost a year in space.
"I read Trump is going to be the new Hitler, and I find that an absolutely facile way of looking at a guy who is basically a right-wing Richard Branson."
Piers Morgan tells BBC Radio 4 Today programme his views on Donald Trump.
"I am stood there with no coat, no phone, in the toilet in Downing Street, on my own, thinking what do I do. I can't walk out, my bum is out."
This Morning presenter Holly Willoughby describes a wardrobe malfunction at 10 Downing Street.
"Austria is not a waiting room for Germany."
Austrian Chancellor Werner Faymann on his country's decision to accept no more than 80 asylum requests a day at its southern frontier with Slovenia.
"They say men can never experience the pain of childbirth. But they can, if you hit them in the goolies with a cricket bat for 14 hours."
Comedian and actress Jo Brand.
"From when I was three years old, working in TV was what I wanted to do. And please may I do it up until I'm 99, and I hope I drop dead doing live television, because it's what I love."
TV presenter Gaby Roslin.
"My BBC colleagues variously described it as a wedding dress put in the wash with a single mauve sock and a borrowing of Klum's grandma's net curtains."
Broadcaster Vanessa Feltz on Heidi Klum's dress at the Oscars.
"I am a great believer that the more you use your brain and your memory, the younger you remain."
Nicholas Parsons, who is still broadcasting at 92.
"I won't go within 10 miles of a Rolling Stones gig. They are not good musicians."
Top drummer Ginger Baker.
"When I started in the profession there were very visible actors who were Scottish, Welsh or regional. Lots of working-class-hero leading actors - it was not fashionable to sound posh. Now I'm middle-aged, it's fashionable to sound posh if you are the generation behind me."
State school-educated actor Tom Hollander.
"The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things."
Writer Jilly Cooper.