My best role yet - the grand designer
Published 20/06/2016 | 02:30
I am settling into a life of quiet suburban desperation. Not the worst thing, says you, encouraging me to check my privilege. And it's true. There is a part of me that revels in the mundane, that is grateful for ordinariness, that finds great exoticism in the everyday. I suppose life has been so odd that there is certain novelty for me in the life of a suburban dad doing boring stuff.
Or maybe I am just becoming incredibly boring. But I prefer to think that I am kind of ironically living out this boring existence. I am doing it all with a sense of slight bemusement. I'm not really doing it. My whole life is a clever parody of a boring person. It's like an art installation. I am not really an unmade bed, I am a clever comment about an unmade bed, on life itself. I am not really a boring suburban dad, I am ironically playing the part of a boring suburban dad. I am a boring suburban dad in inverted commas. I am an individual.
I have a bit of a focus on the garden right now. Not actual gardening, you understand. I'm willing to go so far with this pretence of being a boring suburban dad like all the other mugs, but it doesn't extend to tending my dahlias yet. The only living things in that garden are me, the kids and their mother.