• I recently met an old acquaintance who wished me "happy holidays". With a smile, I replied: "And a ho-ho-ho to you." The returned Yank barked back: "Do you know what a ho is?"
"Yes! It's a warm Santa greeting in winter and an implement to weed my garden in summer," I said. "No!" he barked again, "it's a hooker." "No!" I shouted, "he's the guy in the middle of the front row of our rugby team in winter and a fishing boat in Galway in the summer."
He barked: "And I thought I knew you." I replied: "And I thought I knew you, too." "No!" he roared, "I never met Bono in my life."