Friday 24 May 2013
• Many years ago, a man in rural Ireland was making and selling chicken burgers.
He was mixing horse meat with the chicken, but eventually his conscience got the upper hand and he went to confession. The following dialogue took place:
Priest: How much horse meat were you mixing with the chicken?
Man: Oh, 50-50, Father. One chicken, one horse.
Mattie Lennon
Blessington, Co Wicklow
Irish Independent
* Sir, I want to congratulate Seamus Coffey on his article on austerity (Irish Independent, May 21).
* The next Catholic Primate, Archbishop Eamon Martin, has controversially stated that TDs who support the Protection of Life During Pregnancy Bill are excommunicating themselves and should be denied Communion because they would be knowingly introducing legislation aiding and abetting abortion.
* I was thrilled to discover that the Department of Jobs For The Boys has being carrying out its remit in an exemplary manner.
* Sir, I want to congratulate Seamus Coffey on his article on austerity (Irish Independent, May 21).
* The next Catholic Primate, Archbishop Eamon Martin, has controversially stated that TDs who support the Protection of Life During Pregnancy Bill are excommunicating themselves and should be denied Communion because they would be knowingly introducing legislation aiding and abetting abortion.
* I was thrilled to discover that the Department of Jobs For The Boys has being carrying out its remit in an exemplary manner.
Twilight's legacy shows no sign of stopping, after the film and its stars lead the Teen Choice Awards with nine nominations.
The Saturday's star Frankie Sandford confessed she was put off watching the Hangover films in case they give footballer fiance Wayne Bridge any ideas about his upcoming stag do.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have vowed not to appear in sex scenes with other people in their films, according to reports.
Justin Bieber reportedly asks guests who visit his home to sign a secrecy agreement - which could land them a five million dollar fine if they break it.
A WELCOME new exhibit in the case for men occasionally being good people: Zach Galifianakis.
Damian Lewis and Benedict Cumberbatch are among the British stars flying the flag at the 2013 American Critics' Choice Television Awards.
Ryan Gosling's film Only God Forgives has been booed at Cannes because of extreme violence.
Sheridan Smith has insisted Russell Brand is just a "mate" after they were spotted having dinner together.
Madonna has confirmed that her feud with Elton John is over, after he took her out for dinner.
Bad Teacher, which starred Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake, is being turned into a TV series.
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