Abstinence? I'll drink to that!
As an average Irish adult, I was surprised to learn that I am currently drinking one bottle of vodka a week ("We drink 'bottle of vodka a week'", Irish Independent, February 8), according to the National Substance Misuse Strategy report.
What incredible powers of omniscient wisdom our leaders possess!
They tell me how many bags of crisps I can eat before I become officially obese and have one foot in the grave.