What the survey really said…
A shocking new national poll reveals people's true feelings about, among other things, Enda Kenny, the National Maternity Hospital, Leo Varadkar and Simon Coveney, Brexit, Trump, the Citizens' Assembly and a united Ireland. Indeed, on all these issues, 28pc of the population, across the board, chose the option, "Can we please just shut up about it now?"
On the National Maternity Hospital, 30pc of the people said: "Just build the damn thing somewhere. Can they not just sort this out? Can we actually do anything properly in this country?" While 14pc thought that Peter Boylan and Rhona Mahony should sit down and have a few drinks together. A surprising 18pc said they should just fight it out after work down the back of Holles Street, and a further 12pc believed it should be sorted by a live dance-off between the two that should be shown on TV. The other 26pc said they could build it at their house if that would sort it out - and they didn't want to have any say in the running of it.
On Enda Kenny, 15pc of people said: "Is he still Taoiseach? I thought he was gone." 46pc felt he should be allowed to remain as Taoiseach, as "it doesn't really make a difference anyway, and besides, does anyone else really want it?" The remaining 39pc said: "They should just sort it out among themselves and come back when they have an answer or a new leader or something. They're all only looking for attention."