It's time for the world to comb down: we have the Doonbeg snail to keep 'The Donald' in check
Published 12/11/2016 | 02:30
It is time we all learned the steps to a new dance called the Trump Tango. Welcome to life on Planet Donald.
The 'Gubu' nature of it all was magnified when we realised the man who promised to build a "big beautiful wall 2000 miles long" was elected on the exact day the Berlin Wall came down 27 years ago. As a dazed and confused population wrung its hands at how such a game-changing victory could have happened, you had to wonder why Hillary Clinton hadn't called on the services of the Doonbeg snail during her campaign. After all, the tiny and protected vertigo angustior managed to halt the billionaire's plans to build an Irish wall to protect his Co Clare golf course. The guy's mad about walls - what can I tell you.
Was it the nastiest election campaign in history? Hardly. Back in 1800 when Thomas Jefferson challenged President John Adams for the Oval Office, he called the incumbent "a hideous hermaphroditical character which has neither the force and firmness of a man, nor the gentleness and sensibility of a woman".