Ireland is to be free at last
Published 04/05/2015 | 02:30
Some say nothing ever changes in Irish politics, but that's not true. For instance, there used to be a spring budget and an autumn statement. These days there's an autumn budget and a spring statement. Now that's what I call radical reform.
Admittedly, with the weather being the way it is, it's often hard to tell the difference between the two; but either way, Michael Noonan clearly hopes that the Government's winter of discontent is about to turn into a long hot summer of love with the voters.
Announcing all the good news on the economic front last week, the Finance Minister almost sounded like Harry Enfield's legendary creation, Loadsamoney, with his famous catchphrase: "Look at my wad." It led Sinn Fein to accuse the Government of preparing to "buy" the election by throwing free money at the voters.
Well, duh. "Isn't that what you tend to do during an election?" as a great man once said. No, wait, it was actually Pat Rabbitte, but you get the drift. It's not as if SF doesn't do the same.
Their pledges make the Late, Late Show's promise to give out "one for everyone in the audience" sound almost parsimonious. What, only one? Under a SF led Government, there'd be at least two for everyone in the audience. Three, if you've got your own balaclava. As the IRA slogan says: Our pay day will come.
Up North, where there really is an election under way at the moment, Sinn Fein have unveiled a policy to wipe out credit card debt if elected. Excuse me while I nip out and buy more shoes. "How will madam be paying for these?" "Madam won't." Who knew this was what the Provos meant when they kept banging on about making Ireland a free country?