Grace Dent: Who exactly is supposed to be interested in Kate’s baby? Not me – and not anyone I know
ON hearing about the eight-week-old cluster of cells attached to the lower portions of the Duchess of Cambridge, I leapt to call my editor and be placed on Royal Wombwatch, crying "pick me!"
Let me be one of the professional mum-bores destined to spend more than 200 days tracking every twinkle of eye, bashful royal head tilt, Harrods buggy delivery, midriff ounce gained and lost, name hint, piece of soft cheese avoided and controversial decision to walk, run or ski.
Poor Kate, at the mercy of the mum-journo breast-feeding Stasi, the baby-led weaning bores, the writers who’ll waff on against private education having pulled every sharp-elbowed trick in the book to get the best school and are currently writing about how hands-on they are while their nanny takes the baby to Starbucks. I love these women. Bonne chance, Kate. You’ll need it.