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Saturday 26 July 2014

Denise Calnan: Miley ‘twerked’ and writhed surrounded by teddy bears – memorable for all the wrong reasons

Denise Calnan

Published 26/08/2013|13:30

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Theatrically slapping one teddy bear’s bottom and doing some questionable Pilates-inspired dance moves, the social media-loving singer did indeed seem to have the audience entertained.

IT IS the VMA performance everybody’s talking about today... and probably not for the reasons Miley Cyrus was hoping for.

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Surrounded by dancing teddy bears, the 20-year-old entertained at the annual MTV Video Music Awards with a stage attempt at her record-breaking ‘We Can’t Stop’ video.

The video being riddled with bizarre Miley-created metaphors, her attempt to transform for stage failed and instead resulted in a mediocre performance of Cyrus dressed in a furry swimsuit dancing energetically to the party tune alongside life-size teddy bears.

With her tongue hanging out and her lithe limbs ‘twerking’ which way every way, it seemed more like a performance nightclubs across the country see at the half-two-in-the-morning closing time mark.

Theatrically slapping one teddy bear’s bottom and doing some questionable Pilates-inspired dance moves, the social media-loving singer did indeed seem to have the audience entertained. But it was a different story for her fellow VMA-attending celebrities.

The live audience camera mightn’t have tuned in on Rihanna and her hip hop buddies’ faces at the most forgiving time for Miley.

Drake was close to putting his head in his hands and Rihanna, known for her own pole dancing performances, had her lip raised in disgust. Not impressed.

Mullingar-born Niall Horan, on the other hand, looked more-than-amused by the whole affair.

But the worse was yet to come.

In one swift move, Miley and her teddy bear friends whipped the furry swimsuit from her torso, leaving her on stage in a flesh-coloured PVC bikini as the first beat of Robin Thicke’s summer hit ‘Blurred Lines’ rang out over the Barclays Center, New York.

The PG performance suddenly turned x-rated, and the video evidence will prove that’s not a prudish statement.

If dancing provocatively with teddy bears was meant to be some vague metaphor for her shedding her once-squeaky clean Disney image, the next part to Miley’s performance left nothing to the imagination.

Her fabulously-toned figure squished into unforgiving PVC, Cyrus ‘twerked’, writhed, touched and danced with Thicke on stage, the only prop to dilute the overtly-sexual performance being a giant foam finger.

Attempting to channel Thicke’s censored ‘Blurred Lines’ video, Miley looked wholly inappropriate for the show that was in it as she ran up and down towards the 36-year-old on stage, seemingly delighted to be part of it all.

If a photo of Will Smith’s wife and family’s reactions has gone viral in the past twelve hours, we’re guessing MTV are only sorry they didn’t get a live snap of Thicke’s wife Paula Patton’s face.

Sit back Gaga and Rihanna, no shocking male alter-ego or half-naked dance could compete with this.

It’s simple. Miley Cyrus was this year’s VMA scapegoat; the show guaranteed to snag all headlines worldwide the next morning.

Her show-stopping red carpet choices and cheeky online photo-sharing could have given us some clues towards Miley’s jaw-dropping fiasco last night, but it’s still strange the pop singer should succumb to being this year’s hot “Did you see that?!” topic.

Her much-anticipated musical comeback has been impressive by the industry’s standards; Miley’s ‘We Can’t Stop’ visual gained 100 million VEVO views faster than any other video and she has over 13 million followers on Twitter, a quite impressive position on the celebrity social media rankings.

She has said more than once that she had full control of directing her successful music video, did she not think twice about last night’s debacle?

Miley has people talking, it’s very likely that’s what she wanted. She probably even gained a few more thousand social media followers for herself.

Our advice to Miley, if she wants to grab the headlines again next year, would be to tone it down and sack the stylist.

A too-small flesh-coloured PVC bikini will never do anybody any justice, no matter how many hundreds of hours of Pilates have been mastered.

Viewers at home were treated to a final shot of Miley’s grinning mum Tish Cyrus giving her daughter a standing ovation, á la Regina George’s oblivious mother videoing the girls’ annual Christmas show.

Well, at least someone was impressed.

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