Saturday 23 September 2017

Deborah Ross: Thou shalt come 27 times ... the 10 Commandments of living the Fifty Shades of Grey dream

Eight is the average number of sexual partners which Irish thirty-somethings have had - photo posed
Eight is the average number of sexual partners which Irish thirty-somethings have had - photo posed

IF you ask me, now I have read the publishing sensation that is Fifty Shades of Grey, I believe I am in a position to advise you should you ever be taken up by a young billionaire who is freaking hot (oh my! holy crap!). Here are my top 10 tips:

1 You will need to clear your diary to allow for at least 27 explosive, mind-blowing, body-shattering orgasms a day, so you may wish to cancel that dental appointment now.



2 You will be so hot for your billionaire and so constantly "wet" you may as well put your "panties" on straight from the washing machine, and save on drying time.

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