Monday 24 July 2017

Bryony Gordon: Look at Rihanna - you can’t tell the difference now between pop and porn

MY eyes! My poor burning corneas! There I am, perusing some celebrity tittle-tattle of a lunch break, when I am confronted with a picture of professional pop strumpet Rihanna, caressing her breasts and her crotch. On stage.

Rihanna, in case you prefer the more elevated strains of, say, Rachmaninoff, is so famous that she has just chartered a Boeing 777 so she can promote her new album around the world. So vast is her popularity that she seems to release a new single every other week – and she even appeared at the Paralympic closing ceremony.

When she’s not touching herself up publicly, she likes to pose for pictures smoking fags while wearing thigh-high leather boots and see-through fishnet vests emblazoned with cannabis leaves. Stay classy!

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