Saturday 1 October 2016

Aul Buffer

Published 10/04/2016 | 02:30

Aul Buffer
Aul Buffer

Did you see we now have an acting Taoiseach, acting ministers and lots of acting ministers of state? They're all actors up in Government Buildings - and they're bad actors at that.

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Fender bender Enda himself is hammier than a Denny's sandwich.

I wouldn't give most of those Blueshirt baloobas a walk-on, walk-off part in a third-rate soap. They make half the cast in Fair City look like Laurence bleedin' Olivier.

You have to hand it some of those Fine Gaelers, though. They do remember their lines.

In the election campaign they tried to bore us into submission by urging us to keep the recovery going. And this week they were talking about the "historic" deal that the hoped to agree with altar boy Micheál and the Fianna Failures. When they're on Prime Time, they just repeat their lines again and again until you give up, turn the television off, and take to the bed.

So, acting ministers come to work in their departments, but they have nothing to do other than go on social media to tweet pictures of their election posters.

It's nice work if you can get it.

I tell you one thing, sunshine. If they can't be bothered to form a government, I've a good mind to stop paying my taxes.

Listen, Mr Taxman, I now hold my funds offshore - that's the business now. If you have a query, you can get in touch my lawyer at the end of the canal - the Panama Canal, that is. Now, get stuffed.

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