Friday 22 September 2017

Add testosterone to digestive biscuits during 'manopause'

Notebook

Burt Bacharach. Photo: PA Wire
Burt Bacharach. Photo: PA Wire

Bill Linnane

'What the world needs now, is love sweet love" - the words Burt Bacharach crooned back in 1965. But that was then, and this is now: fast forward half a century and what the world needs now, according to a recent barrage of radio ads, is testosterone.

The hormone replacement therapy is being pitched to the middle-aged man drifting limply into the (weary sigh) 'manopause' - the period when, rather than rage against the dying of the light, he would rather watch 'Antiques Roadshow' and be in bed by 9pm.

The diminishing pools of the manliest hormone of them all is evident everywhere you look: a quick browse through any newspaper will tell you that, contrary to Bacharach's ode to peace, testosterone is actually the only thing there is just too little of. Where are all the wars, the violence, the awfulness we associated with out-of-control masculinity? Clearly since feminism won we have been losing our sense of self, and these ads are a reminder that we need to return to our traditional, primal, ape-like functions.

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