Saturday 3 December 2016

Working it out: Time to slow down - when I'm 120

John Masterson

Published 06/04/2015 | 02:30

Mick Jagger
Mick Jagger

Knowing that Mick Jagger got his bus pass years ago, and that Joan Collins is a very sexy octogenarian doesn't make ageing any easier. Anyone who tells you that they don't mind growing older is lying. Full stop. But we all know it is preferable to the alternative.

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The people who sell the tickets and popcorn at the cinema look about 12 to me. It is not surprising that they see anyone over 40 as ancient. One such youngster recently asked me if any of our party were senior citizens. I said 'no' and was about to pay full price when I pointed to the youngest of our group, who was touching 50. I apologised to the ticket seller. "Sorry, one of is," I explained, identifying her, and promptly got a reduced price. I have still not been forgiven but it gave us all a good laugh.

I get my hair cut when someone tells me it is getting too long. I stop at the first place I see that looks like a barber's rather than anything fancy where they would ask me too many multiple-choice questions about how I would like it cut. I keep it simple. "How much would you like off?" Plenty. Do your worst.

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