Ben the burglar can sleep easy after minister's political stunt
Ben the burglar had a great Christmas. He and Mrs Ben had escaped from the floods, spending Christmas week in their usual suite in the Ritz-Carlton in Tenerife.
Yes, 2015 had been Ben's best year ever. The burglary industry had boomed. His bank had written, thanking him for his business during the year, increasing his credit card limit to €50,000.
His local Fine Gael TD had personally called to the house and explained some of the benefits of the Budget - he and Mrs Ben would be getting increased social welfare as he was on the dole. His local Labour TD had bettered that by promising annual hikes in the "labour".