Friday 23 June 2017

Naked truth is here - and it's not pretty

A new dating show on Channel 4 features naked guests in glass cases. For Sarah Carey, the Apocalypse is nigh

THE NAKED HORSEMEN AND WOMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE: Presenter Anna Richardson with a pair of contestants on show like at a horse fair. Photo: Channel 4/PA Wire
THE NAKED HORSEMEN AND WOMEN OF THE APOCALYPSE: Presenter Anna Richardson with a pair of contestants on show like at a horse fair. Photo: Channel 4/PA Wire
Sarah Carey

Sarah Carey

Memo to the boss: I want double the usual fee for this column because I've just had to watch the most execrable muck so I can make the following important announcement to our readers: "It's official. The End of Days has come."

If you're into divine intervention, then the great purge must be upon us soon. If you take a humanistic approach, then our self-immolation may take a little longer. If the global warming or gluttony doesn't get us, perhaps it'll be some sexually transmitted plague. The means is unimportant. The point is: civilisation is over. The Apocalypse isn't merely inevitable; it's necessary.

What has prompted this declaration? The editor requested that I watch a programme called Naked Attraction on Channel 4. I can't believe it exists. I can't believe it got 1.4 million viewers, not including all the playbacks on the website. Including mine. I feel dirty.

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