Politics isn't 'X Factor', you can't phone in your vote...
Published 17/01/2016 | 02:30
Let's get one thing straight, only mad people sign petitions...
So, more than 700,000 people have now signed a petition demanding Donald Trump be barred from entering Britain.
One of the organisers of the petition, Suzanne Kelly, describes herself as a 'volunteer journalist', which tells you everything you need to know, namely that no employers deem her skills worthy of payment.
If your central heating breaks - as mine did over Christmas, and what a delightful experience that was - do you call for a volunteer plumber? I didn't.
When you're trying to get your household accounts ready at the end of the tax year, would you ever consider calling a volunteer accountant? Only if you fancied being hauled in by the Revenue to explain why your books are so unreadable.
I like cooking but that doesn't make me a volunteer chef - it makes me an amateur who likes to cook. There's a big difference and, ironically, if Kelly was an actual journalist she might have understood the distinction.
Anyway, back to the petition.
Let's get a few things straight - only mad people sign petitions and the only thing this petition proves is that the organisers were able to find 700,000 gormless halfwits, or as it is commonly known, Twitter.
To paraphrase Michael Caine from Where Eagles Dare, I have nothing for or against Trump. He's a showman who shouldn't be president, although he's still a better option than Hillary Clinton.
But politics isn't the X Factor, you can't phone in your choices and if democracy worked by petition then Simon Cowell would be in Downing Street and Panti would be President here.