'Palin embraces Marilyn and Mother Theresa ... but Obama is becoming a boar'
There's something about Sarah ... Barack Obama misjudged his comments in relation to Sarah Palin when he referred to a pig in lipstick
Animal lovers are having great fun with the US Presidential elections. For the first time since a serpent upstaged Adam and Eve, candidates are competing to see who knows how to talk about animals best.
Name-checks are everywhere -- elephants, pythons, polar bears, snakes in the grass and, of course, the pitbull, dog du jour for Republican VP nominee Sarah Palin, the gal whose upsweep could change history.
In the spirit of Animal Farm, with a touch of Dr Doolittle (Eddie Murphy version), Democratic nominee Barack Obama has just entered the virtual zoo with a beast of his own.
"You can put lipstick on a pig," Obama retorted on Tuesday, "but it will still be a pig." Tsk, tsk, careless talk.
Barack might have been referencing Napoleon, the chief pig who played Stalin's stand-in in Orwell's 1945 novella, or Babe, the cute little piglet whose folks saved his bacon (aw!). But it could cost him his.
The great orator forgot all about Orwell, totalitarianism and down-home sentiment in his rush to combat the upsweep with over 90pc name recognition already: S-A-R-A-H.
Stuck for words against Palin's claims about feisty American hockey moms, Obama has potentially insulted a couple of million voters -- kindergarten parents, small farmers, snappy Manhattan Moms, everyone who screams "Kill him!" when their kid plays a match. Its bad taste is as ill-judged as making a joke about McCain's war wounds because the only lipsticked person around is S-A-R-A-H, and whatever she is, she's no pig.
If Hillary was his VP, Obama could sidestep Sarah and tackle McCain head on because Hill would know exactly what to do (exploit Palin's vitriolic side). Now, Sarah has provoked him and he can't let it go.
What is it about Sarah? She's made the most polished performer since JFK and Reagan sound like a playground sissy. Her politics are creepy beyond belief and it hardly seems to matter. She looks sassy where Hillary looked scary, even though she's one of the scariest people to win world fame in years.
McCain's campaign has turned around since he made her his VP, creating a Carla Bruni factor US style. Bye bye talented Republican women like Libby Dole and Olympia Snow, Palin is the biggest political celebrity since Obama.
Who cares if humans rode dinosaurs when God created the earth in recent history? It's a pretty picture. Maybe she'll bring back Santa Claus too. She doubts global warming, doesn't agree with sex education (let's not rub it in) and prayed for an oil pipeline with her Pastor, Ed Kalnins, at the Wassila Assembly of God Church.
As the song goes, she don't care if it rains or freezes as long as she's got her plastic Jesus hanging in the back seat of her car. Born Catholic, she's a devout Pentecostalist which puts her conviction-level somewhat close to the Taliban, minus the veil. Her extreme anti-abortion views (not even in rape or incest cases) are shocking huge swathes of the US and Europe, but fit perfectly in line with the legal situation here.
Sexy, fascinating, and with one of the most 'Oh-my-God' families since The Royal Tannenbaums, Palin is intriguing. She's fabulous, straight out of an Aesop's Fable where a dreaded life lesson awaits.
She makes McCain look like Steve Wilko's Dad, a tough love practitioner you want to have in your corner. Shots of him hugging her pregnant daughter play well not only to Middle America but to people all over the world.
Test for yourself how persuasive their ticket is by checking out their latest TV ad on YouTube. Billed as The Original Mavericks, McCain and Sarah become the team of change, with a lusty male voice telling you that "together, they'll make history."
"He fights pork barrel spending, she stopped the bridge to nowhere. He took on the drug industry, she took on big oil. He battled Republicans and reformed Washington, she battled Republicans and reformed Alaska. Together, they'll make history. They'll change Washington ... McCain and Palin, real change."
What you see is a headline saying McCain faults Bush on pork barrel spending', so it's clear that distancing himself from Bush is how McCain plans to win.
His fable is the tortoise and the hare, where the Republicans -- natural rulers of the US -- are pulled off track by Bush while McCain, God bless him, waits in the wings to reach the finish line slowly but first.
The truth value is drowned out by stirring music and hand-of-history shots.
You can't prove or disprove the message because it's about image and myth, not details and fact. (Fact is, if you want to change things, you vote Democrat.)
Obama is just as gripped by image but the difference is Sarah believes it 120pc whereas he, apart from that 'pig', spends most of his words being careful.
She's a Marvel-comic character, all brave and shiny and out to get the bad guys.
Her excess of conviction makes her hugely persuasive. His reluctance to kick ass makes him cautious (except for the 'pig') so he starts to look insincere.
Obama is too enthralled by the JFK myth; she embraces Marilyn and Mother Theresa without a backwards glance. There really is something about Sarah. God help us, Obama is becoming a boar.
