Saturday 22 July 2017

To infinity and beyond: talk of third term for Kenny is not in best interests of State

Martina Devlin

Martina Devlin

The Taoiseach's office. Enda Kenny strikes a Napoleonic pose in front of a full-length mirror.

Enda: "My dear people, I know you need me. That's why I'll never abandon you. It would be selfish and wrong of me not to stay in office for a second term, followed by a third. I know what's best for you: continuity. Never mind that nonsense about new blood. In your hearts, you want nothing to change. And that's exactly what you're guaranteed with me. Rest assured, my dear people, I'll be at the head of our proud nation this year, next year, and for many years to come. To infinity… and beyond!"

Paul Kehoe: "Excellent, your Taoiseach-ness. A stirring speech. The Irish people will be overwhelmed by gratitude when you deliver it. But I'd suggest one small tweak. Maybe lose the final sentence?"

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