Sunday 20 August 2017

Kevin Myers: With such a motley crew, no wonder he jumped ship

Kevin Myers

THE bad news is that the Irish entry to the Clipper Round the World Race, Cork Clipper II, has been holed and is out of contention. The good news is that Fine Gael is supplying a crew, under its swashbuckling skipper Cap'n Wrong End Kenny. We catch him striding the quarter-deck now, as his parrot and financial adviser Dick Brutal sits on his shoulder, squawking: "Pieces of 7.9999 recurring."

Cap'n Wrong End Kenny saw something strange on the horizon and instantly clapped the telescope to his eye.

He stood there, unmoved for half an hour, while his crew watched tensely. Had he spotted a pirate? A man o' war? A monster of the deep? A desert island?

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